That's what I was saying all day when I did cosplay at the last Magyc con a couple months ago.It wasn't all that good, but people seemed to like me. (Sky is the same word for Heaven in spanish, and since Grell Sutcliff is a God of Death he decides who goes to the sky and who doesn't Mwe, he, he...)
Here I am! (The one with the red wig) With a really nice girl who invited me to a club and got me a BUNCH of new friends in a few minutes. Oh, yeah, life's good, you just have to smile at it.

The date is WRONG because my camera sucked, but oh, well. I'll post some more photos later
(HMmm, I hadn't realized I look so tanned...*sigh*)

I don't have a home to go back to. Never had, so I don't really miss any place at all.
But yesterday I felt the urge to talk to my cousin (Caramel Princess) and we spoke for a few minutes, five or less. I miss her terribly. And I realized that I miss my life back then a lot too. It's not really a house, or a family. I have neither of those things in the way that most people do. But I do miss the conections I used to make with a few members of my family, and the conection I had with the city I used to live in so many years ago. (Ten years, what? Has it been that long?)
One of these days (hopefully before my birthday or so) I'm going to go to mexico city with my camera, and take some pictures of my old schools, the old places where I used to live, the familiar stores, everything that remains, even if it's not all that much. But then again, Coyoacan hasn't changed as much as other parts of the city.
It may be late now, but it's not too late. I believe that there's no point in making yourself mizerable over all the things that you can't do anything about. Over all the things you didn't do, all the things you should have done, or the things you should have said. I could drive myself to misery over how much everything has changed, or over the fact that not a single person from my childhood remains. I could cry over the fact that I have nothing to look at and say "There it is, like it's always been"
But I'm not going to, because there's no point in it, and there are already sad things in this world.
So I'm going to call my cousin, and get a date to hang out with her. Then I'm going to call my grandmother, and schedule a day to stay in the city, take a few pictures, and enjoy the happiness I had. I'm going to enjoy the smog of the city, and the few hidden, quiet spaces around the main avenues where I used to walk with my friends, who I no longer have.
They are all long gone, and so few things remain. But I love it all, as I loved it back then.
I will always love it, in some way.
So I'm going to be happy, because I had those moments and I had those shining memories. And nothing can take them away from me, as long as I love them.

Apparently we are getting evicted from our house. Well, well. Not new, but still unexpected and inconvenienient
Beyond inconvienente, in fact, just plain out hell.
Because, no, we won't be able to get a new house in time, and no, we are very much not happy about it.
My mom is negotiating us some time to see if we can avoid going back to the window-less, plumbing-less house we used to live, let's see how much time she can get us.
Things aren't really as bad now as they used to be (where are we going to live, will we be able to eat, etc...) but they could easily spiral down, and no, we do not want that.
*sigh* I'm just a little tired, been traveling a lot, commuting a lot, and have just recovered from a really bad sickness I just had last week, so I'm really not in the mood to deal with it now.
Still, mom will be here in a few hours and we're going to have to start checking how we're going to pack, where we're going to go, and this just a few days before my birthday, wich I'd really hoped to spend relaxed at home. No such luck, apparently.
...damnit...

I'm in the habit of writing nonsense as I draw on paper. I hadn't done it in a while because I didn't had a table, and working on the floor was hard.
But just now I found a few sheets of paper where I'd doodled some stuff, and wrote a lot of stuff. It's interesting and meaningful to me in a certain way, but I'm posting it here just to give everyone an insight into how my mind works. I write it exactly as I wrote it on paper, with lacking punctuation, caps lock, bolded, etc.

( Self-Talk )

Crazy, uh? It makes a bit more sense if you picture as me talking to myself. Yeah, I have converstaions with myself some times. I even on occasion have fought with myself in my dreams.

I finally have a desk table in my room.
I can, at last, write in peace.
*sigh*

A little fanart I did for the santidus_list exhange community.
It's Tidus...dressed as Santa Claus, what else could you want? X3
( Saint Tidus!! )

I wrote this for the santidus_list  holiday exchange community, but it looks like it won't let me post it T.T *sniff*

Saint Tidus.
By Alex Damien
Pairings: Tidus+Firion, FirionxWoL, 5x8x9
Summary: Memories of past Holidays won't let Tidus alone, and he finds that Firion might be bearing a similar burden.
A/N: This is unedited and unrevised, so it may contain some typos and other mistakes, just point it out and I'll fix it right away. The # sign indicates a change in scene.
The fic starts a bit slow, a bit philosophical, but then gets going and turns into silly crack. No, I have no idea what I was on when I wrote it. Caffeine and sugar, and maybe something else. Also, the title! I was going to name it SanTidus, but in my language (spanish) that would be the way to say Saint Tidus. I left it like that to mean that instead of being Saint Nicholas (Santa Claus) it would be Saint Tidus.
Hope you enjoy!

(Edit: There seems to be a problem with my formatting, and when I paste the text lj turns half of the fanfic into italics, when only some sentences should be in italics, characters thoughts. I'm sorry for that, but I can't find a way to fix it.)

 

( Saint Tidus )

And write since 6 am yesterday, but a cable in the electrical installation on my house was cut for some reason (happens all the time here) and I didn't realize it wasn't a normal blackout like always until 1pm. Took me hours to fix it and it was already 4pm when I got to writing T.T
Since friday I've barely written 5,000 words! I was supposed to have at least 8,000 by now! Argh, I can't believe this. And it angers me more because I knew that it wouldn't be that hard to catch up for all the writing I didn't do on the week! And now it's even harder, but, bleh, I'll get it done anyway.
I still have to wrap up my Tidus Chrismas fanfic (just 100 words or so, it's almost finished, but my head hurted so much last night, I simply couldn't go on.) and start on Abby's FF/KH fic (which should have been finished yesterday, if my electrical installation didn't suck so much) and then...well, oh! yeah, my entries for the fanfic exchange thingy! I have to get those done today too!
Argh! Must keep writting! Come on, it's just about 6,000 words, I can totally get it done in about 4 hrs X)
Go! Go! Go!
*Bartz posing*

Well, my msn messenger seems to hate me now, and I think we're gonna have a really big fight over who rules on the computer. So, until then I will be hanging around gmail. If you have a gmail account come over and talk with me, I feel lonely without being able to talk to my friends *sniff*
(I'm at alexanderdamien2 @ gmail . com)

IT'S F-CKING FRIDAY GUYS!!
4:40 IN THE AFTERNOON AND I JUST REALIZE THAT IT'S FRIDAY!!
WOHOO!!
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2 MONTHS I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO COMMITMENTS!!
I...I can't believe it...Maybe it's because it's so shocking that I'd almost blocked it out of my mind, but I finally have time to do all those things I've been saying I'd do, like drawing on the tablet, and catching up with my fanfic writing, and cooking, and responding to deviations and comments over at deviantart...and...and....
I'm so happy I could cry.

---


LEVEL UP!
CONGRATULATIONS!
Learned: Pacing
Learned: Productive Relaxation
+10 Happiness points

Just got back from the TNT19 Anime Expo. I:
-Met and got the authograph of the mexican spanish voice of L from Death Note
-Got taken at least 50 photos. Why do people think I'm cool in my Grell cosplay is beyond me...But I totally love it!
-Feet hurt like hell, can barely move...
-Bought a Duff beer. Actual beer? Cartoon beer? AWESOME, LET'S GET DRUNK!!
-Finally realized what it is that pisses me off from one of my friends.
-Met lots of cool people
-Increased my Happiness Powers +50
-Had so much fun, it's almost unreal.

Now I'll go die for a few hours, then it's mom's birthday, then it's death's day, then...NaNo, then G. O. writting present exchange, then...Art School exams, then Japanese exams, then...
...
I have so much to do, I don't even want to think about it...

Also: LIFE ROCKS! LIFE'S AWESOME! I LOVE THE WORLD, I LOVE LIFE, I LOVE MY COUNTRY, I LOVE MY PEOPLE I LOVE THE WHOLE DAMNED WORLD!!!

To celebrate that I just finished the Final Fantasy Dissidia game, I bring you the greatest crack my mind could conjure up.
I am not responsible for what happens to your brain after you read this.
I really am not.

Stole this from Liu-Barrowin, who is having a really bad influence on me. Surprising, because we don't even talk all that much O.o
There are far too many Dissidia characters in this list, but what can I say? I'm an obsessed fan!

( MEME STUFFFS!! MEME! MEME! MEME! OH, LOOK, A RIVER!! )

Here's a tip for how to do it right.
Also, having  a theme to your story (=a point to it) helps. But for the love of all that is good, don't rub it all over our faces saying "Here is why I'm right and you're not!" understood?

Is that I always feel kinda lost when things are going well.
This is not, in fact, anything angsty :) I'm actually fine. I was in a bit of a bad mood this morning and all, but now I feel fine.
...Still, these past 2 weeks have been exhausting. I haven't even had time to breathe and yet feel like I haven't gotten anything done at all.
And now October's ending (where the hell has this month gone?) and I have to hurry to catch up with work and school, and japanese classes, and my uber secret project and I still think I sleep too much. Pfff, who needs eight hours, I used to sleep 5! ...If only I could remember how to do that again, though, I'd be happy.
Also, life is STILL rocking on so hard, most days I can't believe it. These past sunday my class went to the Aki Matsuri festival and I had my very first okonomiyaki. I have no idea what was in that thing, but it was so tasty, it felt like a dream.
Anyway, still have to go tackle the DEADLINE OF DOOM with my art projects. So, bye, bye!

Ok, so, I'll explain what has happened these last 3 days fast because like I just said: I'm BLIND

1) I was chatting with my friends real cool when suddenly the lights go out on my whole damned village for 24 hrs. Damn.
2) I have an exam the next day in which I got a 7 (argh! Damn it!) and I had studied so much! I was expecting far more, but I didn't study the things that were asked in the exam. (PResentations, damn, who would have thought??!)
3) That night, the needle of the sewing machine got broken and mom couldn't help me with my costume.
4)The morning of the MagycCon, I was supposed to be Grell, but it was already 9 in the morning and I was still hand sewing the bow on my red coat after getting it wrong 3 times (no, I'm totally not kidding)
5) I finally finish the damned bow and rush to the Con having no idea of where the hell it was. I hit against parked cars due to not being able to see anything with my contacts and wig.
6) Some girl gives me a flyer that says "REJECT SATAN! EMBRACE JESUS!!" But I'm way too busy to walk back and explain to her that I am, indeed, catholic
7) On the con, I can barely pass and see things due to everybody wanting a pic of/with me. Apparently I'm one of the most popular cosplayers. This is the single most WIN-filled thing that has happened to me in months. I make lots of new friends and the organizers ask me to join the contest. Also, I suddenly find out I have something of a fanclub = a lot of girls getting hyped about me and hugging me and wanting photos. Lol, yeeeeaaaahh....
8) Today I wake up at 4 am, I have an eye infection, can't open my eyes without having searing pain burn them and crying non-stop. Can't move, much less go to the contest. I am effectively blinded.

I could totally use some love now...

So, on yesterday's japanese class:
Pigeon: ):
T: uh? Are you alright, you look so turned off...*
Pigeon: Uhh, yeah, well, I've been a bit down lately. I just...it's...
T: Did someone do something to you? Should we go [find him and] hit him?
Pigeon: No! It's...
Me: What's going on?
T: She's down
Me: uh? why? what happened?
Pigeon: Well, it's just that I'm a bit down with everything.
T: Did someone do something to you?
Pigeon: It's just that a friend of mine, well, it's not really him...
Me: We'll go out and beat him up!
T: Sure, we'll find him and give him a beating!
Pigeon: No! Don't!

This is in fact, perfectly normal behavior. "We'll [find and] beat up whoever did something bad to you" is our way to say "We'll help you however we can" X3 lol!

And on different killing thingys: I've just recently finished highschool (and as such deserve a prize!!) and have been thinking about college. My options are something in administration to try and get into a company and start climbing the power stairs. Or get into law and politics and start killing my way up the power stairs**. Both are fine with me but...I feel that on politics you need a great deal of ambition and constant fighting. Also, mexican politics are like a full-time danger sport. Especially if you're a woman.
...sigh, I just don't know....

*turned off: being down
**You might think I'm joking. I'm not.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain
Why the early bird gets the worm
Life isn’t always fair,

and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home without the burglar suing you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

(Printed in The London Times)

Best thing I've heard lately:

Professionals get up every day; look at themselves in the mirror; rededicate themselves to their mission all over again; execute like madmen; and produce excellence week after week after week.  (Actually they produce excellence week after week regardless, because that’s the difference between an amateur and a professional).

IT'S OFFICIALLY OCTOBER!! WHERE HAS THE YEAR GONE WHEEEREEEE??!!!

..*sigh*...

>.o It's been a har couple of weeks, and the pile of work on my desk plank is awfully high. I really, REALLY need to get going...
Instead of being, oh, updating my devart. but I'm happy working on it. I mean, if I'm not going to enjoy it, then why the hell do I have the damned thing. Anyway, I'm working on getting an id in there (one in which I don't look scary, just for a change) and commenting like crazy. Seriously, the amount of commenting I'm doing is almost outrageous. If only I could comment just as much on elfwood I would be golden.
Talking about elfwood, I want to get an art account to post my pics there too, but elfwood is already complicated enough, and I have no idea how to get the art account. Anyone has any ideas?
( A pic of tantis )